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Thursday, January 29, 2015

A Year Ago On This Date : 01.30.15

In May of 2013 two big life changing things happened in our family little...
#1 - We bought our first house. 
#2 - We found out we were going to become parents.

   Back then, we didn't know just how much our lives would change. It was exciting for us to realize we were going to have a baby. A little scary also. During the next 9+ months we attempted to become prepared for this new addition to our family. We bought/got all the necessary items like baby clothing, a crib, a bassinet, a stroller and carseat and so on. We also started reading some parenting books. Sheepherding a Child's Heart was one we read together (although we never finished it) and I read a few books on pregnancy, babyhood and disciplining. 
   Our son's due date was January 22nd 2014, but I was so sure that he would come earlier than that. I guess I just wanted him to come earlier (; I couldn't wait to have a baby of my own to take care of. I don't remember what happened in the days leading up to Gabriel's arrival except that there was A LOT of waiting and anticipation. A little before my due date, I was scheduled and induction for the 29th of January, in case i went over my due date. When I was scheduling it, I did it more for my doctor than myself, thinking "there's no way I wont go into labor naturally by the 29th". but as the day came closer I started to worry. The thought of being induced scared me. I didn't feel comfortable about making my body start something that it wasn't ready to do on its own. When I shared these fears with David, he convinced me to cancel the induction and just stay firm on my decision of waiting until I go into labor naturally.
   Finally, 8 days after his "due date" and a day after my canceled induction day, Gabriel decided to make his appearance. There is one thing that I remember very clearly about the day before he was born. On the 29th of January, David and I decided to clean out our bathroom. David took out the shower doors, and I was scrubbing them clean outside. Believe it or not, it was warm enough to scrub shower doors outside in January. Welcome to Fresno (= later that evening David went to sleep before me. I couldn't fall asleep so I went through my facebook friends and was looking through a bunch of their photos. Finally close to midnight, I decided I have to try to fall asleep, even if I didn't feel sleepy. 
   To my surprise my contractions started around midnight (= After a couple of hours of pretty steady contractions, I knew this was either the real deal, or something was wrong. Keep in mind this was my first baby, I had NO idea what a contraction felt like, or what to expect haha. So around 2 am I woke David up, and told him we need to go to the hospital. Although there were slight complications in Gabriel's birth, I remember that night as a very calm night. I remember David being very supportive, always encouraging me that I can do this, and that we'll get to see our baby boy soon. I remember even being able to take a few short naps between my contractions. There weren't a lot of nurses coming in and out, so it felt like it was just David and I alone, which was very nice.

  The next morning,Thursday, at 7:25am, our beautiful baby boy was born (=

Our beautiful baby boy
all 7 pounds and 2 ounces
and a healthy set of lungs 

Getting dressed to see some family (=
Have to look good (;

   After that day, our lives changed so much. It was no longer about David or me. Everything revolved around our little bundle of joy. He was so dependent on us, just like every other newborn is dependent on their parents. Having someone else's life depend on you really makes you grow up fast.
As the years go by, and more birthdays come and go, he will be less and less dependent on us. One day he wont need me to put him in his crib, because he will have a big boy bed. Then he won't need me to put him on his potty every time, then he wont need me to dress him anymore, or feed him. Thinking about all of this makes me sad. There were days when having to do all of that for him, and also take care of the house hold chores overwhelmed me. The biggest blessings are often the ones that make our lives tougher and make us focus less on us, and more on someone else, and in the end, more on God.  
   These last few weeks, I've been really emotional as I think about our boy finally turning 1. It's only his 1st birthday, a beginning of  the birthdays to come, yet I feel like something is coming to an end. Throughout his first year, I never really felt like time was going too fast. Yes I realized that as he got older and more mobile each month seemed shorter, but I never minded. I always looked forward to the next milestone. When he would sleep through the night, when he would roll over, when he would be able to sit by himself and then crawl. But looking back now, I finally feel like I want time to stop, or to go back somehow. Maybe it's all the female hormones in me (due to me being pregnant with a baby girl) or maybe motherhood is sinking in deeper in my veins and I'm finally realizing what all other mothers feel when they say that time goes by too fast and their children grow up too soon. 
  Even though there is a lot of sadness that comes with being parents as the time flies away, I'm Really thankful to God for giving us this blessing of being parents. I'm so thankful that He trusted Gabriel into our care for the time here on earth. Gabriel might be our son, but he really isn't ours, he is on loan for us to raise him for God's glory. If everything else in this life that I wish for him doesn't happen, the one and only thing I really hope for, is for Gabriel to serve The Lord with his life. Somehow, in someway, whenever God calls him. 

Happy Birthday sweetie!!
Thank you for making me a mother 

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